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“What a looker! A woman who looks like that needs some protection, if you know what I mean. She's so tiny and sweet, just like spun sugar.”
— Cowboy, from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer

Oh great. Another big dumb know-it-all chauvanistic, gun-totin', self-proclaimed expert-shootin' cowboy. If I stay, he's probably just going to bug me about how great he is. Is it worth it? Do I really want to practice that bad?— Dr. Eve
“Women who are built to be liked often don’t like the men who like them.”
— Momma Plunkitt

He was tall and wide. But wide in a good way. The width was in his shoulders, not his waist.
— from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer

She wasn’t after a bikini body, or even a classically toned one. God simply hadn’t given her the right material to work with.
— from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer
"Lots of people get on TV. Not that many are worth remembering."
— Dr. Eve

She was attractive in the plastic sort of way that a Barbie is attractive. A surgeon had given her what God did not.
— from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer

"I must've drank like a red-neck sucks down beer at a barbecue."
— Dr. Hanes
“Now, I’ve had a hard day. I’m hungry, tired, and my feet hurt, and I’m in a really bad mood! So don’t patronize me. Either help me or get out of my way!”
— Rachel, from GEIST

Everyone needs mental down time at some point in order to maintain their sanity… — Rachel

“You cry. Then you rest. Then you go on vith the rest of your life. That is vhat you do.” — Ada's advice, from GEIST
“Oh, you again. You love my meat. You always come again.”
— Salvo, from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer

“I don't rent guns. I own them.”
— Dr. Eve

“Political zombies, you know, people who do what they’re told because money or the promise of influence has corrupted them.”
— Derek, from Dr. Eve, Zombie Killer
"Oh, I can tell you one thing, buddy, if you hadn't been at the birth of OUR first child, there wouldn't have been a second one!"
— Maria, from My Sister's Husband

"You must always keep tabs on your man, even when he's at home."
— Susanne

A man that won't look you in the eye; that raises a red flag in my book. Personally and professionally."
— Maria
“You just asked me for an explanation. I didn’t ask you to believe it.”
— Dr. Eve

“Wishing it were so won’t make what isn’t so.”
— Rothgar Hvorak

“If you’re a thug, and you attack someone on the street in Oklahoma, you’re likely to be shot. If you’re a thug, and you attack a red-neck on the street in Oklahoma you’ll be shot, then shot some more after the re-load.”
— Dr. Richard Hanes
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